Your secrets safe & no one has to know I'm your get away & a little bit more than you can take

I'm so confused with everything right now. I still don't have my phone back.. It hasn't even been taken away for a week though. *sigh* I think I'm going to ask for it ba k tomorrow. I really just need to talk to my friends right now. I don't get how I'm even confused about guys right now when I haven't even talked to theses guys in like a week. I always say I'm done with the ginger.. But it never works out. We'll decide to be just friends but I don't think thats really possible. Everything was just so much easier before we ever dated and were just friends. My parents found out about this one thing he did so they don't exactly approve of him anymore... And then there's the guy that I got grounded for. I'm going to call him.... John. (sorry my creativity skills are sucking right now so John is going to have to work). But yeah. I really don't know how I feel about him. He was kinda just a one time (okay... 2 time..) thing. And my parents for sure do not approve of him now so I would have to sneak around. Which is really tiring. And even though he's going to be a sophmore he'll be 16 in a couple weeks... I mean he's only like a year and a hald older than me. But still. I kinda want to tell him I think we should just be friends but then I look really slutty after everything that happened. In my defense, he knew I still liked the ginger and he kissed me anyways... But like he was kissing me and then I pull away and he's like "I really like you" & I don't say anything and he's like "do you like me?" and I still don't say anything and he's like "come on I just need a yes or no" and I was like " I don't know.. Things are complicated right now.. " and he kept asking me how... I'm not a deepperson. I kinda suck at telling people how I feel. I have like one friend I can actually tell everything like that too because we've been through alot of it together. When I was dating the ginger she was dating his beztfriend so we would always go on double dates and vent about how stupid our boyfriends were... She's my partner in crime... Hehehe I'm probably boring you with all my boy talk about boys you don't know... And if you do know who I'm talking about... Awkward. XOXO--hannah