Wednesday, August 01, 2012

You know that you could be my favorite one night stand

So. I always start my posts out by saying so... Oh well. I did absolutely nothing. Well. I did stuff. But none of its worth remembering. I feel so stuck. So trapped. I hate it. With a passion. Hah. The ginger used to always make fun of me for saying that. I haven't talked to him in almost 2 weeks. That is a record for me. Seriously. We never go this long without talking. Even the time I told him to just stop talking me, and he literally would not acknowlege my presence, even if his friends were talking to me, that didn't even last a week. This is so weird. But not in a bad way. What I needed was a break. And this is giving me one. And time for the whole John thing to blow over. And time for us to finally get over each other. And hopefully just go back to being friends. For me, once I'm completely over someone I'm over them. Like we can even talk again and flirt and everything and it just won't be there for me anymore. Which is good I guess. Maybe. But I can't figure myself out anymore. I don't know who I want to be. Do I want to be the good girl always doing what everyone else thinks I should do? That seems like the logical answer. But honestly... I want to be crazy. Making last minute plans, doing what I feel like when I want too. Spontaneous you could say. I think things go better unplanned. Planning things put to much pressure on everything. Be spontaneous. Thats my new motto. And I mean... Yolo. I definately used that as my excuse this summer. And you know what? It was fun. And I learned from my mistakes. Even though I'm not sure it was a mistake. Everything happens for a reason. Thats all I need to say. XOXO-hannah

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